A Minute To Process
by Feile-Fem
Summary: Spencer is dizzy and drowning in confusion over her new found and inexplicable feelings for the beautiful, enigmatic new girl but will she ever notice the shy and unassuming Spencer Carlin?
1. Chapter 1

Staring out the window at the rain soaked street below, where the usual latecomers gravitated towards the door, adopting a remarkably casual approach while chewing down the last mouthfuls of toast, or whatever conveniently mobile breakfast they could find, I wondered if I had missed her. She usually arrives a little late and I'd been there for at least twenty minutes, so why hadn't I seen her? With nothing better to do till class started, I began to run through all the possible scenarios that could have led to her not walking around that oh-so-familiar corner yet. The obvious ones of course: that she'd forgotten to set the alarm clock and slept in. She's ill, all tucked up in bed with hot tea, tissues and her favourite teddy bear; or a family bereavement…. No, wait, I've got it, her dog has died and she's completely, utterly, inconsolable. Bless her; she loved that dog. Old George. She was never apart from him since he was a puppy. Hang on a minute…Does she even have a dog? I don't know. Then came the not so obvious ones: that the tanned, muscled, smouldering eyed pool boy named Juan that she met on holiday in St Lucia had tracked her down using only his wits, charm, and a 1987 Thompsons Local directory and after hours of passionate lovemaking had whisked her off for a life of carefree mojito sipping aboard his father's catamaran. Or even that she'd been suddenly and violently kidnapped by a gang of ruthless marauding mafioso types in retaliation for her 'wrong place, wrong time' father squealing on little Jimmy 'the squitz' Lassativo when he'd been caught knocking off the pit bosses daughter, in the basement, with the candlestick holder……

I was rudely awakened from the random, incessant and never ceasing ramblings of my mind by the sound of my name being called; and by the tone I knew it wasn't the first time either.

'Spencer Carlin. Any chance you'll be coming back down to earth to join us today?' Mr Aiken chided, looking at me disapprovingly over the top of his thick rimmed glasses.

'Sorry sir' I genuinely replied. 'I'm here… obviously. I just didn't get much sleep last night so not really with it today.' Not a lie. I couldn't sleep owing to the unwanted pain of longing in my chest and the constant images of her flashing through my mind. Not to mention where my imagination took me of an evening. How could I even consider sleep?

The thin, gaunt and greying man turned a few pages in his note book, quickly scanned through the one he was looking for before turning back to face me. 'Well, from the look of your recent and rapidly descending grades you haven't been getting much sleep for a while. Try to pick it up would you girl, now is not the time for distractions. You were doing excellently until two months ago.'

'Yeah, sorry sir.' I replied again meekly. 'I just have a lot going on right now. You know, finals coming up an all.' Again not a lie. My mind was cluttered with feelings and emotions that I simply didn't know how to deal with on top of the usual teenage angst, anxiety, family dysfunctions and school pressures.

'Very well, just remember if there is anything serious bothering you, you can speak to me or one of the guidance councillors. It is, after all, what we're here for.' At that a few of my fellow students snickered and I felt the blood rushing to my face.

'T-thank y-you sir but I'm ok.' I stammered and with that he turned back to taking class attendance for the morning and I turned back towards the window, my eyes assuming what was now their natural position, falling on the corner of Portobello and Mountcastle. The corner I had become so familiar with.

Where was she?

The penny eventually dropped and I silently cursed myself on two separate counts simultaneously. Firstly, I knew that by running to the bathroom earlier, in a vain, and frankly pathetic, attempt to dry my soggy hair and clothes, I would run the risk of missing her on the off chance she was early, and yet I had still gone! My justification for this radical deviation from an otherwise strictly regimented, and adhered to, morning routine was that on the staggeringly minute chance I might actually talk to her today I couldn't bear to look like I crawled under a bush and through muddy puddle to get here while using an electric toaster and a spaghetti fork to dry my hair. And two, the more serious of my self-chastising topics for the day, was why the schizz am I _still_ obsessing over this girl? I don't even know her name, where she lives, or even what she's studying here.

Initially, when she'd first arrived, I thought I just was curious about the attractive new girl, but within a matter of days my thoughts and feelings had intensified and I found that I was developing a strong attraction to her, an obsession maybe?. Her long, flowing, perfectly styled dark brown curls and deep chocolate eyes were becoming ingrained on my senses. I simply couldn't get her out of my mind and that thought terrified me completely. I wasn't gay. Was I?! Does every girl go through this? Is it just a phase? How come I have never felt this way towards another girl before? Gahhh - Way too many serious thoughts for one cold, wet Monday morning.

Drawing in a tired and disappointed breath, I slowly began to turn and face the rest of the day without my recommended daily visual dosage, when her familiar figure emerged from around the corner. Holding the peak of her hood out before her face to keep the rain out with one hand and carrying her guitar case in the other she stopped to cross the street. For the briefest of moments she looked up at the building I was in and I imagined she was looking right at me. A shiver ran down my spine at the thought of her eyes on me. She was wearing the same red fleece-lined blue cropped riding jacket, which she had worn every day since the beginning of the semester when the weather had turned, dark blue boot cut jeans that hugged her slim, athletic figure in just the right places, together with tan coloured timberland boots. Despite being rain-soaked to the core she literally took my breath away while my heart lurched forward in my chest, just as it had done every single time I'd seen her since she'd magically appeared on campus two months ago. I was a hopeless case and I knew it.

Actually though, the more I come to think about it, obsession does not quite begin to describe my unfounded, and now safe to say, long running fascination with the mystery woman. Whatever it is it seems to be getting stronger, edging its way deeper and deeper in to the cracks and crevices of my existence. Infecting all aspects of my life. I know I needed to put and end to it. My grades were slipping, I wasn't sleeping and my family were worried that I was becoming 'distant' and I hadn't seen my friends in what seemed like forever. The only problem was, despite my best efforts, it was _definitely_ getting worse and I couldn't seem to even slow its acceleration, let alone stop it, with my puny will and logic. Although at a guess I'd say things like this can never be dissimilated and fixed by logic. When it comes to love and lust the rulebook is blank and anything goes. Ah crap. I just broke rule one in the book of 'lets use puny will and logic to sort out this mess'. I had admitted that I loved her, again. I admitted that I lust after her, again. Sod it. I needed help. How can you believe you love someone you've never spoken to? And worse, how can I possibly be in love with another girl? I _really_ needed help. I needed advice, I needed the big guns. I needed Kyla.

* * *

**Ok. So this was the first fanfic I've ever written. Actually, it's the first anything I've ever written so please read, review and let me know if it's utter tosh! Thanx**


	2. Chapter 2

The first few periods of that grey Monday morning day dragged on without any significant events unfolding. At least I think they did, but I couldn't concentrate on school, much less anything going on around me so couldn't really be sure. How could I concentrate on anything? AllI could do was analyse, reanalyse and post analyse my current predicament with the_ girl_ I was clearly smitten with. I really needed to talk to someone about this mystery woman, and my feelings toward her, given that up to this point I had considered myself to be one hundred percent heterosexual! But talking to people about this, no matter how much I loved and trusted them, was not something I could leap into without thinking it over first. I mean, there's the obvious problem: that she's another girl for Christ sakes and most of people I know, god love 'em, are not exactly the happy-go-lucky pride loving types. There's also the fact that I don't know the first thing about her. Sweet FA, besides of course the fact she has the darkest, most spellbinding brown eyes I have ever had the pleasure of squinting at from a distance. Really though, if someone were to approach me and say 'hey I totally fancy that random chick over there, can't stop thinking about her or staring at her every time she's nearby and even manipulate my morning routine just so that I can glimpse at her intoxicating features for less than a minute each day' I would have booked them in for a full frontal lobotomy, or at the very least had them sectioned for a few days to get their head examined for cracks. But for me, this feeling of attraction was the most natural, beautiful and normal thing in the world. Though at the same time, it was the most frightening, lonely and unexpected feature of my 16 years. The problem approaching Kyla with this 'problem' was that although I had known her virtually forever, I didn't know how she might react to something like this. Anyone else and I'm sure she'd be totally cool about it, the best person to get advice from, but because it was me, her oldest friend, she might totally wig out on me and I simply couldn't handle that right now. I was still lost, swimming around in my own thoughts, as usual, when the bell for lunch sounded and the population of my English class performed a speedy, vulture like, mass exodus towards the lunch hall. I however, still couldn't eat; I had completely lost my appetite, apparently along with my sanity, a couple of months ago when she'd shown up and thrown my world into complete sapphic disarray.

I was just hanging by my locker deciding how best to kill the next hour when a pair of familiar hands crept over my eyes from behind.

'Where been Carlin? I haven't seen you for days. You avoiding me on purpose or are ya back in rehab or what?!' Oh Kyla. Always the wannabe comedian.

'Nah, not avoiding you' I replied smartly 'just avoiding your totally rancid stench!' I joked. 'Seriously Ky, sort it out or I'm gonna have to hire a man-nurse to give you daily sponge baths'. I wrangled out from beneath her hands and turned to face my best friend.

'Sweet as dude, do I get to pick this man-handling man nurse for myself? Coz I'll take Matt Damon thanks.' She grinned and grabbed me by the wrists. 'Seriously though dude, where have you been? I tried calling you all weekend. You missed a sweet night at Vibe on Saturday and you never miss it when DJ Rinz is playing so where the hell were you?' She asked frowning.

Bugger! Unable to divulge the truth before I could figure out the best way of breaking it to her, I thought quickly. 'Hey, can't a girl be unpredictable? It adds to my mystique! And besides, I don't wanna be the chick who's so pathetic she's _always_ at Vibe every single week, and more often than not without a date, so I just went to the movies with Glen and Clay.' I couldn't tell her I was just sulking in my room all weekend, trying to figure out if I had suddenly and unexpectedly turned lesbian, while at the same time desperately longing to know more about the girl who was the cause of all my current teen angst. I wasn't ready to tell her everything just yet though I badly wanted to.

'Well, that must have been enlightening for you, spending your Saturday night with dumb and dumbest. So what's the plan now oh great and unpredictable one? What we doing for lunch? I'm totally starving.' Kyla pouted while rubbing her stomach. 'Fancy going down to the Attic for a bite?' The Attic was our regular hang out, pool tables, cheap smoothies, burgers and great music. What more could a pair of teenagers ask for? Besides _that _girl of course.

'Ok sure. I'll come with and kick your ass on the pool table but I'm not really that hungry'.

'Fine, kick my ass on the table but I'm still gonna beat you at pool. Ha ha ha ha!' Kyla began to snort at her own joke. Man that one was terrible, even for Kyla's standards. 'But just remember you're not hungry when you're eyeing up my fries. I know you Carlin'. She said sill chuckling. 'C'mon, I'll drive.'

As we headed across the parking lot towards Kyla's car, carefully dodging the maze of puddles from the mornings torrential downpour she regaled me with the events of another Saturday night at Vibe. 'You're moose of an ex was there with Madison. Like _with_ with, can ya believe it? Dirtyin' up the dance floor like you've never seen! It was soooo gross'

I stopped in my tracks 'Seriously, Aiden and Madison, were there together?' I said incredulously; my voice going up an octave towards the end.

'Well unless you have another moose-like ex hiding under your bed that I don't know about Carlin, yes, Madison, she who is shallower than this very puddle….' Kyla knelt and theatrically swept her arm across a small pool of water. '…was there with Aiden - he who is scummier than the scum floating on the top of said puddle.' I chuckled as Kyla made retching noises pretending to vomit in to the puddle. Then she stood up, kicked her foot through the puddle, and we started towards her car again.

'Well I never saw that one coming' I said truthfully, eyebrows still raised. Aiden and I had dated for a couple of months the year before but we had stayed pretty good friends once we had split up. Kyla, on the other hand, couldn't stand him. She always was a bit over protective of me so reacted badly when he had ditched me. So I couldn't think why Aiden wouldn't tell me he was going out with Madison. Then again, this was Madison. We had all spent the duration of our relationship sharing and revelling in our mutual contempt, nay, downright loathing of Madison Duarte, so that was probably why he couldn't tell me; he knew his life would be made hell for years to come! I made a mental note to find Aiden and question him heavily before the end of the day. As for now, I had more pressing matters to contend with.

By the time we pulled into the parking lot at the Attic, I had decided to tell Kyla at least some of the truth. I just wasn't sure how much and of what I was going to say. But I had to start somewhere. As we made our way inside my guts felt as though they might prefer it on the outside, literally. I was so nervous about sharing my secret with Kyla I could feel my limbs start to shake. We found our usual booth and sat down, which I was thankful for because I didn't think I could stand up for much longer. My head was dizzy and swimming with nerves. Kyla gestured over to the waitress and she sidled up to take our order. 'Hey, I'll take a ham and melted cheese wrap, some fries and a coke thanks.' Kyla smiled up at the waitress. 'Spencer, whadda you want. My treat.'

'Just a black coffee for me thanks.' I said politely, also smiling, trying to hide my extreme nervousness.

We chatted for a bit about the shocking revelation of Madison and Aiden being together, well, more like Kyla chatted and I just nodded at some appropriate parts, or added a few 'I know's and 'totally's, trying keep my shaking body from being too obvious. Although, the more she rambled on the less nervous I became. This is Kyla, I thought to myself, my best and oldest friend. If I can't talk to her then there's no one I can talk to. At that thought I began to feel a little more confident.

Kyla's food arrived pretty quickly and as usual we spent a good five minutes in total silence while she wolfed down her lunch in record speed; pausing only to apply more ketchup to already drowning fries or chug coke from an oversized cup. All the while I slowly nursed my humble, brown, liquid lunch which I'd laced with four sugars, while contemplating how best to start this conversation. As it turned out, the effort on my part wasn't necessary. Kyla soon threw her napkin down on to the empty plate after giving her face a final rub and trying unsuccessfully to stifle a very unladylike burp. She then turned toward me with an unsettling look of genuine concern spreading across her face causing me to shuffle uncomfortably in my seat. 'Seriously though Spencer, you've been kinda weird for the last few weeks. What _is_ up with you? And don't deny it, there's definitely something going on; you're even more stoic than your usual stoic self. Is one of your butt-hole brothers bothering you? Coz y'know I've been looking for an excuse to nail Glen to the door for ever. Please just tell me it's Glen!'

I sighed heavily and in one big gulp downed the last of my coffee for caffeine assisted courage. I knew I had to tell her now. Once Kyla had her hooks in, there was no getting out of it.

'No. It's not Glen Kyla.' I managed pretty solemnly fidgeting with my coffee mug, feeling myself becoming more overwhelmed with the whole situation.

'But there is something bothering you. Am I right about that?' She reached down and grasped one of my hands over the table giving it squeeze 'You can tell me anything Spencer and I promise not to joke about. Whatever it is, I just want to help.'

'There is something going on Ky, but I really don't know how to tell you. I know that sounds weird but it's just not easy'. My voice cracked towards the end of what I was saying and my eyes immediately dropped to the floor. I was scared she might see the tears that were beginning to form. Too little sleep, not enough nourishment and constant worrying had lowered my defences and self control. Knowing this aversion trick of mine Kyla reached over for my other hand, first dislodging it from the mug it was still roughly toying with before grasping it and pulling me towards her.

'Spencer. Look at me.' She spoke softly but I didn't move my gaze. 'Look at me Spencer, please.' She tried again, but to no avail. My eyes were locked firmly on to the floor, growing redder and fuller with tears. Releasing one of my hands, she lent across the table, gently cupped my chin and pulled my face around to meet hers, though I still couldn't look her in the eye. I feared that as soon as I did the tears would begin to roll. 'Look, if you're your not ready to tell me whatever's going on in that crazy ol' head of yours, just remember that whenever you are, I'll be here for you. You're my best friend and nothing can change that Spencer. Absolutely nothing. You're like my only family so seeing as that makes you my only sister I gotta take good care of you.'

I couldn't keep them back after that. Fat tears rolled down my cheeks and splashed on to the table below. I was so stupid. How could I have ever doubted what Kyla's reaction might be? There was a very good reason she was my best friend and she'd just reminded me what that was. I had to tell her. No. I now wanted to tell her.

'K-Ky' I stammered. 'This one's like big. Like bigger than Aiden and Madison big. And I'm sorry I'm having a hard time telling you, and it's not that I don't trust you it's just that once it's out there, I can't get it back' I sniffed, took Kyla's hand from mine and rubbed the tears from my face with a knuckle.

'Spencer, it's ok. You don't have to tell me now' she stroked my remaining hand gently.

'I kinda do Ky, coz it's killing me and I need someone to talk to.' I said helplessly

'Ok.' she replied, looking more and more concerned with every passing second. I took a deep breath and looked straight into her eyes.

'Kyla. I've been having these, like, feelings for someone for a while now.'

'Feelings?' she questioned, an eyebrow making it's way up her forehead in a probing, yet still concerned way. 'Like _feelings_ feelings? As in you like some one?' She almost sounded disappointed.

'Yeah' I responded shyly 'but that's not the scary part.'

'Go on' she encouraged.

'The scary part is that……..that it's another girl I'm having these feelings for. I think I'm gay.' I blurted, pulling my hand from hers. As soon as it was said, I dropped my head and fixed my eyes back on the floor, waiting for the explosion, the tears welling up again. But for a full minute there was nothing but total silence.

I couldn't move. I was frozen. What had I just done? Had I just lost my best friend to this horrible admission? I was just about to seriously consider suicide or at least fleeing the country to join an overseas convent when I heard her soft laugh coming at me from across the table. Taken by complete surprise, I looked up to find her smiling across the tear streaked table at me. For the last two months I had imagined this moment over and over, and the look of amusement on Kyla's face was not one of the post-coming out expressions I had as yet considered. Disgust, hatred, disapproval, yes, but amusement?

'Spencer.' she said quietly. 'This is the big secret that you were keeping? That you like girls?' she asked as her grin widened. This was most definitely not the reaction I had imagined.

'Well. Not girls exactly. One girl.' I responded. 'But I don't even know her name or anything about her.' I whined quite pathetically 'And hello? Being gay equals really big thing, like huge life-altering realisation! Which then brings me round to how can one girl I don't even know turn me gay!?' I asked wide eyed but Kyla simply laughed again. This time it was a deep hearty laugh.

'Carlin… I've been so worried about you for weeks now and this is the cause of it? I'm so relieved. I thought you were a freaking terminal case or that you'd started taking crack or something!' She leapt out of her seat, pulled me out of the booth too and straight in to a tight bear hug. 'Now. I wanna know everything.' She demanded excitedly as she threw some cash down on to the table and we turned for the door.

As I stepped outside a great surge of relief washed over me as I realised that whatever I was going through, I was no longer going to go through it alone.

'Hey Ky? I asked once we got back in her car.

'Yes my bestest and oldest lesbian? What can I do for you 'cept for the obvious of course.' she said winking.

'Hey! You promised. No jokes remember' I pleaded.

'Shit sorry Carlin, just force of habit I guess. What's up?'

'Why'd you take so long to react in there? You nearly killed me.'

'I guess with the whole Madison and Aiden thing and now you telling me that we're not batting for the same team anymore, I just needed a minute to process, that's all. Now go on, tell me about this woman that's got you all worked up.'

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**Thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter for the very encouraging comments. They were very much appreciated **

**Sorry for the delay in getting this last chapter written. I was on my summer vacation but will hopefully be posting a lot more regularly now I'm back.**

**Once again, let me know if it's rubbish.**

**Thanx**


	3. Chapter 3

Of course it felt fantastic knowing that Kyla wasn't repulsed by the sudden, flustered confession of my likely lesbianism, I mean, I had just 'come out' and the world hadn't ended in a storm of thunderbolts and brimstone as I had predicted it would. However, as soon as the adrenaline that had been coursing through me from that charged coming out moment had began to subside I had an unexpected thought: I wasn't ready to divulge who the object of my obsession was yet. Obviously one reason for this was that I didn't even know her name and so to point her out to Kyla would mean I would literally have to point her out at school, and the thought sneaking around and doing such a thing seemed to cheapen my intensely deep feelings for her. It made me think of giggling schoolgirls and childish crushes in the kiddie playground when so far my feelings for this girl were as far from a childish crush as you could get. This reason, however true, was not my main reason for not wanting to tell Kyla who it was that I was quite possibly falling in love with. Simply put, I wanted to keep my girl all to myself. To me, right now, she was untainted by outside scrutiny and speculation; she was unblemished by high school rumours and gossip. She was everything in my mind that I had made her to be and I selfishly didn't want to share her just yet.

So as Kyla started her car and we headed back to school I began to give her the highlights of the last two months inside the head of the recently inaugurated gay, or at the very least bisexual, Spencer Carlin.

'Well…' I began slowly, 'I thought I just liked boys, same as anyone else, until a couple of months ago when I noticed this girl around school.'

Kyla grinned at me but stayed quite, focusing on her driving so I continued: 'I was just walking to my chem class one morning, same as any other boring morning, and there she was, walking towards me down the hall. And.....just.....WOW.....I'd never seen her at school before.'

I sighed unwittingly and turned to look out of the window; remembering the amazing and electrifying feeling that shot through my chest, spine, and other, more significant regions of my body, when I'd first laid eyes on her. She hadn't looked back at me that morning, a fact for which I am forever thankful for as she would have likely noticed my mouth agape and drooling or seen my blue eyes boring into her trim figure, soaking in her flowing brown curls and losing themselves temporarily in her deep brown one's. I don't remember how long I actually stared at her but I do remember her subtle scent as she brushed past me. Vanilla. Oh sweet, sweet vanilla. I still can't get that smell out of my head.

'Uh, Spencer?' Kyla interrupted me from another of my involuntary daydream flashbacks. 'You still with me over there buddy?'

'What? Oh yeah sorry.' I muttered, slightly embarrassed. 'I dunno Ky, I know it's totally weird but the second I saw her I felt things like I'd never felt before. I immediately saw the world differently somehow. It was like I'd just woken up for the first time in my life and opened my eyes to all the amazing and beautiful things around me.' I stopped and cringed, realising how outrageously cheesy that must have sounded. 'God that sounds so lame.' I cried as I thrust my head in to my hands. 'See Ky. I need serious help.'

Kyla just laughed again.

'Lame don't even cover it girl. You got it so bad! Anyways, I'll forgive your poor-ass analogy for love at first sight given your current, woman whipped, predisposition. So go on.' Kyla prompted.

'Well there's not really much to say otherwise. I mean I haven't talked to her, don't know her name, or even if she's in the same year as us. So far I know a sum total of absolutely nothing about her. 'Cept she makes insides do back flips every time I see her.' I said a little forlornly.

'Aww my poor honey. What's this girl done to you?' Kyla jested. 'Well you can stop your worrying young Carlin, I can sooo help with the recon on this one. Just show me who this wonder woman is and I'll get my 'Kyla Woods, lesbian detective' mojo on.'

I moaned and took in a deep breath. How was I going to get around this one? Having Kyla know that I was potentially gay and crushing on a girl was great; I had someone to talk to about the whole turning gay aspect of my problem, but I really wanted to keep my girl's identity a secret. Even though there was absolutely nothing between us. It was still _my_ nothing.

'Kyla, I dunno, I kind of just want to figure this one out on my own for a bit y'know? See if this whole thing turns out to be a phase or something.' I tried.

'Aww… C'mon Spencer. You can tell me who it is. I promise not to embarrass you or anything. You seriously can't just drop a bombshell like this on me and not tell me who made the bomb?'

'Please Ky?' I pleaded. 'Just for a little while, I promise. I love you to pieces, you know I do, but you have got one big mouth on you, especially when you're drunk. You might let it slip to one of those asswipe jocks, or worse, one of their cheerbreeder girlfriends.'

'And what? You're afraid it'll get back to your lady friend?' she replied, trying to not sound offended but I could tell she was. 'Like she'd know who you are anyway, or even care.' she added a little too coldly.

'Please don't be like that. I didn't mean to be hurtful Kyla, I just need some time to see how I'm gonna deal with this.' I reached over and put my hand on her knee.

'Please, please don't be mad at me.' I begged, trying to turn the atmosphere around but Kyla didn't respond and we drove on the rest of the way in silence.

'I'm not mad with what you said' Kyla finally spoke up as we pulled in to the school parking lot. 'It's just that you're going through this huge life changing deal, and I want to be a part of it.' She began to blush realising what she'd just said. 'Well, not _part of it_ part of it, coz that'd just be gross, but I do want to help you and you saying you can't trust me with this just hurts a little.'

'I know I can trust you Kyla. I mean I pretty much just came out to you, which obviously means I trust you; I'm just not ready for you to know my type yet!' I joked, 'Just give me a few days to sort my head out and then I'll fill you in with everything. I promise.'

Kyla pulled into her usual space in the lot, killed the engine and turned to me with a mischievous smile spreading across her lips.

'Fine, you win Carlin, You get a weeks head start before I pull on my Sherlock Holmes pipe and slippers and come after you and your mystery woman.' Now get your gay ass to class, before I out you to the whole student body.'

She grinned at me again before getting out the car and I knew we were ok; at least for the time being. But I knew in a week's time she'd be on my back again and this time it'd be with thousand pound weights in each hand.

* * *

My afternoon started with a class on Physics. Exactly what discipline of physics I couldn't possibly tell you as I had spent the last half an hour processing all that had happened at lunch with Kyla while simultaneously counting down the hours and minutes until the next morning when I could look down expectantly on to that corner and anxiously await the best sixty seconds of my day.

'So, is this an example of Newton's first, second or third rule of motion? Let me see now, um …..Spencer? Mrs Alpert chirped.

'Huh?' I responded involuntarily and a little too loudly, once again dragged unwillingly from my thoughts 'I'm sorry. What?' Oh man……I'd done it again.

'Newton's laws of motion Ms Carlin. Which one applies to this example?' she said impatiently while pointing to the board.

I stared blankly at the horribly complex and scruffily annotated diagram that had miraculously appeared on the board somewhere in the time between me sitting down losing myself in a tour of my own head and now. I was just about to open my mouth and admit defeat when the loudspeaker crackled to life over our heads, likely saving me from one verbal bashing but thrusting me into a far worse one no doubt.

"Spencer Carlin, 3C. to the Principal's office. Spencer Carlin, 3C, to the principal's office right away."

That earned me a round of jeers from all around the classroom and a disappointed look from Mrs Alpert and I gulped.

'Go on then Spencer. But we'll talk about your recently dismal attention span in class later.' Mrs Alpert scolded while shaking her head, prompting more jeers from my classmates.

* * *

As I sat, nervously once again, in the principal's office, waiting for the grand King High lord and master himself, I wondered yet again about the recent chain of events that had led me down the darkened path of educational deceleration and lesbian awakening straight to the principals office. In truth, there was no real chain of events per say, just one anonymous girl who had stumbled into my peripheral vision one autumnal day and had been seeping deeper and deeper in to my head ever since. The rest was history. Enter, as they say, one exotically enchanting and intriguing brunette and my world simply shook and fell apart. So when I say I'm pondering the recent chain of events that led to right now, I'm really just thinking about _her_. Though admittedly at this juncture I probably ought to spend more time thinking: a) why the heck have I been called to the principals office and, much more importantly, b) at what point in this obsession did I become so entirely and pathetically whipped that I started using adjectives like 'enchanting' and 'intriguing' to describe the inexorable object of my affections. 'Holy crap! I just did it again. What the hell is wrong with me?' I muttered aloud.

As if on cue, Principal Jackson entered his office trailing an acrid plume of both fresh and stale tobacco smoke behind him. I wrinkled my nose at the pungent intrusion on my nostrils but forgave him his disgusting habit given that he was in charge of and responsible for a load of hormonal, often narcotically enhanced, post pubescent morons. Even I would smoke under those circumstances. He sat down heavily on his battered and balding leather chair and flicked through a pile files on the centre of his desk.

'You would be Carlin then yes? He asked slowly without looking up at me. 'Spencer Carlin?'

'Yes Principal Jackson' I promptly replied.

'Always talk to yourself do you Carlin? Or just when you've been sent to my office for the first time eh?' This time he did look up towards me with a slight smile on his lips.

He totally caught me off guard with that one! Before I knew it I found myself replying: 'No, I talk to myself pretty much all the time sir. That's th only way I'm guaranteed an intelligent conversation.' My face visibly fell and I flushed furiously as I realised just how insolent a thing that was to say. Damn Kyla and her smart ass remarks. She had defiled my mind with them and now they were coming out of me uncontrollably like Tourette's. And damn my perpetual nervousness too. Despite my dreadful retort and shocked expression Principal Jackson just smiled again and turned back to what I presumed to be my school record.

'Well Spencer, I'm willing to bet you were wondering just why you're in my office on this god awful wet and dreary day.' He asked while thumbing through the pages of my record.

'Kind of sir' I replied more respectfully this time. Though I wasn't about to tell him what, or rather who, I was actually thinking about.

'Well Spencer, I'll be frank with you. You're obviously a smart young girl so I won't beat around the bush. You know just as well as I do that your grades have basically plummeted faster than J Lo's career this semester.' I tried to look amused by his dreadful attempt to try and identify with us students, but was not terribly sure I was entirely convincing.

'Yes, I figured my grades were what that this all is about, but you see I …..' I was just about to concoct a reasonable, on the spot explanation for my lacklustre academic performance when I was interrupted.

'Spencer, I don't particularly care for whatever reason you want to provide me with for your recent poor performances. Unless you have something you feel you need to talk to one of our councillors about or are quite literally dying, the only thing I care about is getting your grades back up above par. Again, you are clearly an intelligent girl and it would be a shame to make a mess of your future now.' He looked up and simply smiled at me again before closing my file and putting it to the side. Despite his somewhat unorthodox manner, I was beginning to like the man in charge.

'Thank you sir, I really do appreciate your concern but with so little time left till finals and mid-terms already out of the way, how can possibly I bring my grades up now?

'Well, I think the easiest way for you do catch up a little is to take on some extracurricular activities for extra credit. What do you think?' He looked straight at me and I tried not to show my reaction. "Urrgh" is what I thought. Extracurricular activities! Like what, arts and craft? Chess club? Dare I even say it….Maths club!! Don't get me wrong, before _that_ girl came along I was a good student, but never going quite so far as to cross the line into after-school clubs. That being said, I was totally backed into a corner on this one. I had no choice.

'Sure, I think I'd be interested in doing something like that.' I managed to lie, hopefully convincingly. 'As long as you think it would help.'

'Of course it will Spencer, as long as you work hard for your extra credit. Now, the only problem we have is there aren't too many places on the left on our approved programmes so your options are pretty limited.

'Well, what's left' I asked trying to sound enthusiastic about my impending descent into dreaded geek territory, praying that I wouldn't get stuck with maths or drama. These days I could barely focus enough to count to ten and I really couldn't stand anymore drama in my life at this point. Fictional or not. Please just not maths or drama…..

'Well, we're down to…..' Principal Jackson paused for what I assume was a lame effort to build suspense. 'Drama….' My face fell again. '….Or music! The choice is yours Spencer.'

Well. It wasn't much of a choice to me but at least I wouldn't have to discuss recreational mathematics or emergent algorithms with a bunch of MIT wannabes.

'I guess I'll have to go for music then Sir.' I replied, and although I didn't consider myself to have a musical bone in my body I figured I could wing decent grades somehow.

'Good. Excellent Spencer; we'll get you signed up on to that straight away so you can get started as soon as possible. Remember, the more time you put into this, the more your overall grade will improve so stay focused and work hard. That goes for all of your other classes as well mind you.'

'Yes Sir, I will' I said, beginning to sound a little deflated realising that I may actually have to apply myself more than I had hoped to this Mickey Mouse programme.

'Now before school finishes today, head over to the music department and speak with Mrs Connor about customising your program.' And with that Principal Jackson stood up, reached in to his pocket for his cigarettes and lighter and headed back for the door.

'Now behave yourself Ms Carlin. I dont want to see you back here in my office any time soon you hear?' He added as he opened the door. 'It's make or break time now and I'd hate to see such a promising girl throw her future away over some silly boy or a high school rivalry or whatever winds you kids up these days.' That said, he left, closed the door, and left me sitting alone in his office.

'Not even close Mr J. Points for effort, but not even close' I sighed.

* * *

Classes were soon over for the day and had ended without further incident although the rain had started again as I headed across the quad to King High's music department. As if synchronised with the clouds over my head my mood became increasingly darker. I just wanted to go home and mope over how complicated life had become. I wanted to down a pint of chocolate chip ice cream but more urgently I wanted these now painful feelings of longing and false hope to stop. There was no way someone as socially inept as me could ever muster the courage to speak to someone like her. Not without a gallon of vodka pulsing through me, dissolving every one of my inhibitions as well as my liver and kidneys. As alcoholism was perhaps not a valid solution to my problem, I decided that I should do my best to keep my mind well and truly off of her. Really apply myself to my classes and this extracurricular nonsensical hoop that I needed to jump through. That was it. I just had to concentrate on something else. Anything else! I was newly committed to my new, school orientated, gay-recovery plan when I entered the main music building and approached the admin desk. The petite clerk looked up at me and raised an eyebrow before turning back to her crossword puzzle.

'Y'know classes are done for the day.' the small woman uttered nasally to her newspaper.

'I know, sorry. My name is Spencer Carlin and I was just looking for Mrs Connor. I have to sign up to the extracurricular music program and Mr Jackson sent me down here so I could customise my course, or whatever.'

'Well, I believe Mrs Connor has gone home for the evening but there might be someone here who can help. What instrument do you play?'

Crap! I hadn't thought of that. I thought this course would be like music theory or something like that, not that I would actually have to learn an instrument! Oh brain of mine, where have you gone?

'Well none at the moment.' I replied quite seriously. 'But was kinda hoping you guys could help me with that.' I smiled trying to make light of the situation but only earning another raised eyebrow from the obviously not terribly amused clerk.

'Well piano, violin and guitar are about all that's on offer for learning from scratch. The other tutors simply won't have the time. It's up to you to choose your weapon of aural destruction.' she said laughing slightly at her some what inappropriate comment.

I thought for a second. I always hated the violin ever since I spent my childhood listening to my brother Clay murdering Vivaldi, so that was out. Also, if I really wanted to do well in this program I would need lots of practice, ergo, my own instrument, and I guessed pianos were not the sort of thing you could pick up on the cheap in Walmart. That settled that then.

'I guess the guitar would be pretty cool.' I finally responded.

'Guitar. No problem…… Now, let me see if one of the tutors is available to help you now, otherwise you'll have to come back in the morning. What was your name again? She asked while flicking through the internal call list.

'Spencer Carlin.' I replied patiently although I was longing to get out of there and hit that pint of chocolate chip.

The clerk tucked her telephone handset under her ear and typed four numbers into the key pad. After a few moments someone obviously answered.

'Yes. Hi. I'm glad I caught you.' The clerk spoke in to the phone. 'I have a student here, a Spencer Carlin' who has just signed up for the EC music program and needs someone to go over her induction and course customisation. Would you be able to help her with that now?'

There was a pause while the person on the other end responded.

'Great. I'll send her on through then. Thanks.' She put down the phone and looked up at me once more. 'You're in luck Ms Carlin one of our assistant tutors is still here. Go on through to room 209 and they'll get you started.'

'Thanks a lot' I replied, trying not to sound too sarcastic.

As I headed down the corridor towards room 209 I hoped this wouldn't take long. I still needed to catch up to Aiden and interrogate him at length about Madison. After a minute I reached the right door and raised my hand in readiness to knock but before I could put that movement into action the door swung open before me and a few things occurred in quick succession: My mouth fell open as the familiar scent of vanilla danced evocatively in my nostrils; there was an involuntary sharp intake of breath as my blue eyes locked together with her brown ones for the very first time, and finally, my stomach performed its customary back flip only this time with feeling. Oh. My. God. I felt dizzy.

'Spencer Carlin I presume?' She smiled the sweetest of smiles 'I'm Ashley Davies. Please, come in.'

* * *

**Again thanks to everyone who has reviewed my little story so far. Sorry it's taking me so long to get to round to Spashley goodness but I just didn't want to rush it! **

**Again, please let me know what you think ********.**


	4. Chapter 4

I couldn't move….I couldn't breathe…..I couldn't do anything. Not even stifle the involuntary, though thankfully barely audible, gurgle that crawled up my throat and introduced itself in to the world. My mouth remained open as my vision began to blur and my head began to swim. She was a teacher here!?! How is this possible? Suddenly, lights began to dance and flicker in front of my eyes and I had trouble keeping my balance. It was at this moment that the perfectly formed smile which had not long ago greeted me slowly faded into an expression of growing concern.

'Hey, are you ok?' She asked, reaching across for my shoulder.

That first contact was never made however, as the last thing I remember before the world went dark was me. Falling. Hard at her feet.

* * *

'I don't own a drum kit, do I?!' Was the first thought that ebbed into my head after I slowly opened my eyes and took in the unfamiliar surroundings. A few seconds of cognitive processing that even Einstein would have been proud of later, and I arrived at the conclusion that this was not, in fact, my room. 'Well, if I'm not in my room then where the hell am I?' I continued to think; genuinely confused. Then, as if on cue, and in a flashing, B movie-like instant, the highlights of the entire day's events ripped back through my mind; climaxing with my spectacularly smooth and oh so Spencer-like introduction to the girl of my………wait…hang on a minute……' My brain continued on as I pulled myself up the couch I found myself laying on. '……If I'm still here, then that means she's probably still h…….' My thoughts were interrupted.

'There she is.' Her voice, deep and husking, came from across the room behind me. 'I was just about to get worried you might not wake up at all!' She spoke a little jokingly though traces of concern lingered in her voice. I heard her rise from a chair and move closer to where I lay. 'Sorry to drag you in here but the nurse has already gone for the night so I didn't have much of a choice.'

'Uhhh…..It's ok.' I managed. 'What happened?' I asked groggily as I turned to face her, trying to return myself to an upright position on the couch while avoiding looking at her eyes directly for fear of a fainting reprisal.

'Well, you just turned up at my door and fell at my feet!' There was that smile again. It lit up her face and made her dark eyes sparkle. 'Seriously though.' she continued. 'Does this happen to you a lot? Are you like anaemic or something? Epileptic? Should I call a doctor? Or at least call your parents? Oh god! I should've called your parents.' She cried. She was beginning to fluster and it was intolerably cute.

'No…..Really. I'm fine. You don't need to call anybody.' I barely whispered as my confusion subsided; continuing it's metamorphosis into total embarrassment. Swinging my legs off the couch I finally managed to regain a more vertical, yet still slightly shaky, perspective on the world. 'How long was I out?' I asked rubbing my head; trying to sound more confident but still unable to look her straight in the eyes.

'About five minutes is all.' She said as she stepped even closer and handed over a glass of water before kneeling down and looking up at me. I was unable to avoid those deep brown eyes any longer without her noticing so I mustered together all my courage and I met her gaze directly for the second time. Again my heart flipped over hard in my chest; but at least this time I remained conscious.

'T-thanks.' I whispered and nodded down to the water.

'No problem. Hey, it's the least I can do given that I nearly pulled your arms from their sockets getting you in here.'

I coughed a little to clear my throat and sipped down some water before finding my voice: 'Did you carry me in here yourself?'

'Well….Not carry exactly.' She said, twisting her hands together as she spoke. 'I mean, I know being dragged across the floor isn't exactly a valid form of transportation these days. But the end still justifies the means right?' She shrugged. 'And besides, it's totally underrated. Minimal rug burns were received. I think!' She grinned widely and revealed two rows of perfectly sized, perfectly straight and perfectly white teeth. God! Was everything about this girl perfect? 'Oh yeah.' She added. 'And just in case you didn't catch it while you were on your way to greet the floor, my name's Ashley… Ashley Davies.' She announced thrusting her hand out toward me.

The second I wrapped my fingers around the soft, tanned skin of her hand I felt every synapse in my body fire an intense bolt of electricity that extended to each of my unsuspecting extremities. My every muscle twitched and my legs grew weak. Well. Even weaker. I shuddered at this incredible new sensation and prayed that she didn't notice.

'Spencer Carlin.' I replied a little too quickly, trying to hide my blatant reaction to her touch 'It's nice to meet you Ashley.' _Finally_. I added to myself.

'Well, now that you're conscious, are you really OK?' The concern was back across her face. 'Has this happened to you before?'

'Well, no.' I turned away from her face and dropped my eyes to the floor. I had to or else she would have noticed me getting lost in hers. 'But I haven't been sleeping too well recently, and the same kinda goes for eating so I guess it all finally caught up with me.' I said quite pathetically and cursed myself for it.

'Hey, you gotta take better care of yourself than that. Although, I do know what you mean; I've got so much going on myself it _is _hard to remember to eat sometimes.' She pulled herself from the floor and in one quick movement she was sitting on the couch next to me. I felt my body stiffen involuntarily as she got closer and when I turned to face her, for the briefest of moments, there was just silence as we looked into each others eyes; each really taking in the others face for the first time. I figured I should really say something before I fainted again.

So, um….. About this music induction thingy….'

'What? Oh right, of course.' She smacked her forehead. 'I nearly forgot why you were here. I'm sooo bad at this. You'll have to forgive me. I'm completely new to this tutoring thing.'

'Well, I'm sure you don't have students collapsing at your feet everyday. It must be pretty off-putting.' I smiled across at her, trying to keep the tone of the conversation light as I could see Ashley was little shaky herself following my memorable entrance into her life and I didn't want her to feel bad.

'Actually, you're my fourth fainter today.' She kidded. 'It must be me! Maybe I should change my deodorant or get some odour eaters for my shoes or something before one of you guys drops and doesn't get back up again!' When I chuckled at this it caused that spectacular pearly grin to appear across her face once again and I hadn't noticed before, probably as I had never been two short feet from her face before, but she got the most adorable wrinkles across her nose when she smiled.

'Well. It _is_ a little pungent in here.' I wafted my hand in front of my nose mockingly. 'I didn't want to say so, but since you bring it up.' I managed my first smile back at her and with that Ashley seemed to relax.

'Hey.' She cried as she mock punched me in the arm. 'Is that anyway to treat someone who's gonna show you how to become the next guitar rock goddess?' She added as she feigned an insulted look. 'But anyway I really think you should get home, get something to eat and get some rest. We can go over your guitar program first thing tomorrow morning if you're free before classes?'

'Um….Sure, I guess if you're happy to do it then. What time would you like me to get here?' I said as casually as I could. Trying to ignore the rapidly increasing tempo of my heart. It was beginning to sink in that I was going to be spending quite a bit of time with Ashley and my whole body ached at the thought of it. My mind ached at its aching. The recently uncovered fact that she actually teaches at the school had yet to be processed in order to determine its full impact on my teenage lesbian obsession; although initial tests were indicating that one pint of chocolate chip ice-cream was not going to cut it. I probably couldn't even begin to think about it without bursting into tears again so I thought it'd best to steer clear of any in-depth analysis; at least until I was out of her office.

'Eight o'clock works for me if it's good for you?'

'Ok sure. Eight o'clock. I'll be here.' I said as I cautiously stood up; making sure my legs were ready to take the weight of both me and my predicament again.

'Perfect. I'll see you again in the morning then.' Ashley said smiling as she rose from the couch; brushing past me and leaving her sweet vanilla scent in her wake. 'I feel dreadful just turning you out like this.' She said as she reached to open the door. 'Will you be ok getting home? I'd give you a ride but I don't bring my car to school. Can I call you a cab or something?' Flustered and concerned Ashley had emerged once again.

'Oh, no I'll be fine. My brother usually finishes basketball practice about now so I'll just grab a ride with him. But thanks anyway.' By this time, I figured my legs had enough power to at least reach the corridor and so I started tentatively across the room to where Ashley held the door open.

'Ok. If you're sure? I really hope you get a good rest and feel better Spencer.' My heart fluttered one more time upon hearing my name roll from her tongue and cross those beautiful full lips.

'I will.' I said smiling. 'And thanks again Ashley.' Oh shit. Forgot. She's a teacher! 'Oh. Sorry, I mean Ms Davies.' I corrected myself. Desperately trying to hide any traces of disappointment in my voice.

Ashley laughed and touched my arm briefly 'Please! You make me sound old. Just call me Ashley, '

'Umm sorry…..Ashley.' I said as I felt myself start to flush.

I stepped out into the darkening corridor and turned around to face her once more.

'Hey. Um, I'm sorry for y'know….keeping you back tonight; and for making such an embarrassing first impression.' Now it was my turn to twist my hands together.

'No worries on both counts. I really had nothing else to do. And as far as first impressions go, at least I'll always remember this one. And that's a good thing right?' She smiled playfully; revealing those adorable wrinkles. Oh god those wrinkles. I might just get addicted to the sight of those tiny tracks across her nose. 'Good night Spencer. Feel better ok.'

'G'night Ashley.' I nodded and smiled back at her. And, as fantastically difficult as it was, I somehow managed to pull my eyes away from her and turn to face the cold and wet evening outside; and the daunting task of processing all that had happened in the last twenty minutes.

It was, without doubt, the best twenty minutes of my life: I had just been introduced to the girl of my dreams. No, not dreams. My fantasies. And she had a name. At last! Ashley Davies: beautiful, enchanting and intoxicating Ashley Davies. I felt like shouting. And, she knows my name too! she knows I exist!!

However, it was, also without doubt, the worst twenty minutes of my life: How the hell could she be a teacher? Here?!?

* * *

Again, thank you to everyone who has taken the time to review my story so far. Your comments make my day :-)

I'll try to post more as soon as I can.


	5. Chapter 5

Not that it was becoming compulsive, but I lied again; this time about getting a ride home with Glen. Yes, he would probably be finishing up basketball practice about now, but I didn't want a ride home. not with him anyway. He could read my moods pretty well and I didn't need him pestering me right now. Especially as it would likely lead to some quality fratricide and, as much as I disliked my eldest brother, murdering him in cold blood was not too high on my to do list; although admittedly it was on there somewhere. Despite the continuing rain and the weakness that remained in my legs I wanted to walk home and think over the day's events. Well, I didn't really. I was so confused I just wanted to curl up in a ball right there and cry, but after a moments consideration I settled on the former. Mental instability does have a way of denting one's high school reputation, however low it may already be, and nothing says 'hey I'm crazy' like lying in the foetal position, in the rain, sobbing like a baby for all to see; so I set off for home.

I couldn't believe that _she_ of all people had opened that door. I couldn't believe it was today of all days, after the confessions of my gay lustings to Kyla, that I actually met her. I couldn't believe I got to smell that sweet vanilla scent again, which I was sure still lingered around me; trapped in the water droplets on my clothes. I couldn't believe I had been introduced to her. To Ashley Davies. I repeated her name over and over in my mind, making up for the months during which she had simply been known as _that girl_. Even her name, Ashley Davies, was beautiful. It matched perfectly her face with its strong cheek bones, smooth toned skin and those hypnotising brown eyes. But most of all, and second only to the revelation that she was a teacher, I couldn't believe that I had fainted! What a total freaking idiot. The mandatory 'open up the earth and swallow me whole' embarrassment of the situation had kicked in and I was mentally berating myself for being so pitiful. I had imagined the moment of mine and Ashley's meeting thousands of times, sometimes in a variety of exotic and novel costumes, but a soggy me, being dragged unconscious across her office floor, was not a scenario I had spent much time considering.

By the time I was half way home my head was reeling with questions, feelings and emotions, all of which led my already darkened mood straight down the steep, slippery mental pathway en route to depression; stopping only briefly somewhere between sombre and melancholic to pick up a few more fractured pieces of my fantasy before reaching its final dispairing destination. For a moment I considered calling Kyla just so she could come and put her arms around me and tell me it was all going to be ok, but then I would probably have to explain that I had fallen for a teacher. Oh, God. When you actually say it: 'fallen in love with a teacher.' It seems so much worse. A little teen cliché maybe, but still worse. So calling Kyla was out for the time being, and although I knew it was obvious what I should do, I just didn't know how to do it. I had to get Ashley out of my mind completely as I knew nothing could or would happen between us. Well, legally anyway. The only problem was that forgetting Ashley would be a lot easier if she wasn't about to spend hours teaching me to play the guitar, one on one…..My pace slowed and my mind immediately began to wander on it's own accord: All those late, dark, after school sessions with just me and her, locked in her office, together, alone, fingers caressing necks, striking chords…_.._making music……My eyes began to close and it appeared that despite the rain soaking me through to my underwear my libido was completely unaffected by the cold shower.

'Bloody hell Spencer.' I said aloud, snapping out of it. 'I'm supposed to be putting a stop to this. She's a bloody teacher for Christ sakes. No. Worse, she's _your_ bloody teacher.' I sniped at myself as I shook my head in self pity. Getting these feelings for Ashley out of my head, and apparently some other parts of me, was going to be almost impossible. Especially given that my subconscious mind had just that minute figured out that I would be seeing her again in just fifteen short hours and I hadn't the first idea what I was going to wear! Despite myself, I began to run the rest of the way home.

* * *

Standing in my room, encased only in a towel, with my freshly washed hair loose and dripping on the carpet, I rummaged feverishly through my closet, cursing every item of clothing I owned aloud. This was ridiculous. I was 16! Why did I still allow my mom to take me shopping? I was completely on the brink of despair and reconsidering my convalescence as a nun when my cell phone rang from across the room and I leapt out from behind the growing pile of discarded clothes to grab it.

'Hey Aiden.' I answered, after checking the caller ID.

'Hey Spencer. What's up? I haven't heard from you in like forever.' He chided at me. I was glad of the distraction of his call which may very well have saved my sanity, and although I was not really feeling up to fully quizzing him about Madison I couldn't resist just a few jabs.

'Hey, nothings up with me Aid, I'm just the same old Spencer. But from what I hear, something is seriously up with you. I'm about ready to sit you down for an intervention Dennison.' I teased slightly.

'What do mean by that? Nothings up with me. Why?' He spoke a little too quickly, knowing that he was so very busted.

'You should know me better than that by now Aiden.' I smiled in to the phone. 'I have spies everywhere and my sources tell me that your crotch spent the entire Saturday night glued Madison Duarte's ass at Vibe.' I could almost hear him squirm on the other end of the line and my smile broadened.

'I will kill Kyla Woods when I see her.' He whined down the line. 'Go on Spencer. Just give it to me.'

'Give you what?' I asked innocently.

'Just get all the jokes and wisecracks out of the way now. I know you're dying to.' He wasn't wrong there. Aiden and I had spent years battling our wits against Madison's and were, until recently it seemed, united in our disgust of everything she was and that she stood for. To have Aiden suddenly renounce our contemptuous anti-Madison religion and actually get together with her was just asking for a lifetime of endless mockery - and perhaps equally endless therapy. That being said, and probably due to the heavy, emotionally laden day I'd had I just wasn't in the mood to play games and mess with him.

'Well, I do have one or two controversial opinions on the subject, but they can wait until I see you or we'll be here all night. I just want to know why you didn't tell me that hell froze over and that you liked Madison?'

'It just happened Spencer.' He said defensively. 'I didn't go looking for it. We just met at Vibe and instead of arguing we just got talking for a change and I guess we realised we had more in common than we thought. I'm not proud of it. I'm actually totally fucking confused by it if you really wanna know.' He must have been pretty wound up over the whole thing as Aiden would never usually swear so casually.

'Hey Aiden.' I said softly. 'You're a free agent. You can see whoever you like. The past is the past and people change so don't feel bad about this. If you like Madison then there's nothing to stop you from going out and getting what you want.' I couldn't believe these words were coming out of my mouth. We were talking about Madison Duarte. The very same Madison Duarte who managed to skilfully design and manipulate the expulsion of two juniors at our school just because she'd overheard them call her fat in the washrooms. But in spite of this, who was I to dictate who should be together? At least Madison was a student and not a member of the bloody faculty! So who was I to judge?

'Ok, I know you don't really mean that Spencer.'

'I actually really do mean it Aid. To be honest with you this whole war with Madison is getting really tired; so if you getting together with her helps raise the white flag then I'm not complaining. And besides, you deserve to be happy. And yes, ok, Madison is the last person I thought you'd ever go for but hey. You can't help who you fall for.' No truer words had ever crossed my lips and I sighed inwardly.

'Ok. I don't know who you are and I don't care but what have you done with my Spencer?'

'What?'

'Seriously. This is not the Spencer Carlin I know. The Spencer Carlin I know would have been laughing her ass off at me so hard, and for so long now, her face would be turning purple and she would be swelling and gagging for air. What have you done with the purple puffy Spencer?'

I laughed down the phone at him. 'I dunno. Maybe the same thing that's made you like Madison has turned me soft. Maybe it's something in the water.'

'I wish.' He replied chuckling. 'That would make this whole thing a lot easier to understand.'

'Totally.' I said, thinking the same of my situation also. There was silence across the phone line for a moment until Aiden continued.

'Hey Spencer. I really called to check that you're ok. You have been acting weird lately. Like, withdrawn or something and I just want to make sure you're not going postal on me.'

'Wow. Nice way to voice your concerns numb-nuts.' I said, trying to sound insulted.

'Hey you know I'm not the best at the "girlie feelings" chat Spencer, but at least I'm trying. Points for effort?' He pleaded.

'Well Mr sensitive your efforts are appreciated but I'm doing ok. Really. There is some stuff going on, but nothing as earth shattering as you and Madison being together.' I lied again. Maybe it was becoming compulsive? 'But can we catch up tomorrow? I'm kinda busy just now.'

'Sure. I'm free after classes. We can head down to the Attic for some dinner if you want?'

'Perfect.'

'Sounds good. Ok, I'll meet you out front after school.'

'Sweet. Good night Aiden.'

'Night Spencer, and thanks for ummm… being so understanding….. I think?'

'No problem Aid.' And with that I hung up and dashed back to my closet.

* * *

The next morning I awoke at six. Unable to stay asleep any longer; in part due to the fact I would be seeing Ashley in two universally miniscule hours, and in part due to the incredible dream that I had suddenly and guiltily awoken from. Oh god. She was a teacher.

'_I need to feel your hands on me Spencer_….….. _Everywhere.'_

_  
_The sound of her voice from my dream still echoed through my head, and I could almost feel the curls of her hair in my hands and her full lips pressing hard against mine as I threw my blankets off the bed and stumbled towards the bathroom; desperately trying to ignore the longing ache between my thighs that dreaming of Ashley had stirred in me. Standing over the sink, I splashed water on my perspiring face and looked up at my reflection in the mirror, shaking my head.

'Get it under control Spencer.' I said aloud. 'You know how this goes. You are one step away from flunking out of school and this might be your one and only chance of not wrecking the entire rest of your life. So here's what were going to do. We are _not_ going to think about Ashley in any other way than as your guitar teacher. Got it?' I asked myself, as I pointed at my own reflection. 'We _will_ find a way to be in the same room as her without our stomach thinking we're on Space Mountain. Got it? And what ever we do, we _will_ forget about that dream while we are in her office.' I sighed thinking back to the fading memory of my dream as I reached over to turn the shower on. But as the first droplets of water began to hit the basin below a thought flashed through my mind and I slyly looked up at my reflection again. 'But then again'…..' I continued to myself. 'I won't be a high school student forever so it can't hurt to make a _little_ effort in my personal appearance right? I mean, investing in the future and all that.' I smiled at myself before pulling my t-shirt over my head and stepping in to the cool water. God. I was insatiable.

After eating a full breakfast, in order to minimise the chances of me passing out again, and bribing my younger brother Clay to give me a ride on the promise that I'd do his chores for a week, I arrived at school a little early. I killed time by pacing up and down in front of my locker picking bits of fluff from the dark green lamb's wool sweater I had finally decided on wearing, together with a short, but not too short, jean skirt and brown knee high boots. I had also straightened my slightly wavy blond hair leaving just a few curls to frame my face and had finished off by applying smallest amount of natural looking make up. Even I had to admit that for an outfit and a look that was suitable enough to wear to school, I looked damn hot.

As the clock in the corridor crept slowly towards eight, I sucked in a deep breath and began to make my way over to music, room 209, and my second meeting with Ashley Davies.

'Whatever happens, just please don't faint this time.' Was the last thing I thought before I raised my hand to knock once more.

* * *

'Good morning Spencer.' She chirped as she opened the door to greet me. 'You must be feeling better, being that you're still standing n'all.' She joked; her smile lighting up the very room much like I'd imagine a fire in an explosives facory would.

'Yeah. Thanks. I'm feeling much better.' I finally managed to find my voice but was unable to stop myself from eyeing the full glorious length of Ashley.

I guessed she must have hurried to get here as her long hair was messy and unkempt, her clothes were ruffled and she still had an adorable sleepy look in her eyes. To me she looked more spectacular than ever and I tried desperately to control my rapid heartbeat in case she could hear it hammering wildly in my chest. She must have noticed me noticing her as she began to self consiously brush down her clothes and smooth her unruly hair. 'Sorry about the state of me. I'm not really a morning person. Especially before I have my first cup of coffee.'

'Please.' I smiled back at her. 'Don't be sorry on my account. You look perfect to me.'

My eyes shot open and I cringed deeply and visibly the millisecond the words had crossed out of my mouth, but Ashley just tilted her head slightly and looked curiously at me before cracking out that broad smile again.

'How 'bout we run out and grab some coffee before we go over your program? We've got plenty of time before classes start, and I really, really need a caffeine boost. My treat, whaddaya say?' She said, as she clapped her hands together and pretended to beg.

Well, how could I say no to an offer like that?

'Great. Sure I'd like that.' I replied. Apparently if there were a way to say no, I couldn't find it.

'Sweet. I know a great little deli nearby which does awesome fresh brownies. You'll love 'em.'

'For breakfast? Really? You eat brownies for breakfast?' I asked surprised.

'You don't need a time of day or an excuse to eat brownies Spencer.' She sighed theatrically, rolling her eyes. 'Oh my goodness you have soooo much more to learn than just the guitar. Come on. Let's get your re-education kick started.'

And with great surprise, and somewhat unorthodoxly for a teacher, she grabbed me by the arm and hauled me back outside - skipping towards my first brownie breakfast.

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**Sorry to all for the delay in getting chapters up. I promise to make up for it by posting more soon and we'll get into the real grit of the Spencer/Ashley storyline! Again, thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed my fic so far. Your comments are great and very much appreciated. Please let me know if you liked this chapter and if it's worth continuing :-)  
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	6. Chapter 6

I swallowed my nervousness and pulled my wavering composure back into check as we headed out of the building and into the cool, still damp morning air, turning towards the delicatessen. What the hell was happening? My life had suddenly taken one seriously twilight zone surreal turn. Yesterday I didn't know the first thing about Ashley. Today, after discovering that my feelings for her could never amount to anything on account of her being a member of the faculty, I was being dragged out to breakfast with her. Ok, not dragged. Dragged would suggest that I didn't want to go and nothing could be farther from the truth.

It was kind of hard to believe that this was actually happening. For a moment I seriously considered that the whole thing might be a set up ala The Truman Show, but then laughed at myself for being so completely ridiculous….Or was I?!? My situation was however beginning to smack of some pathetic Shakespearian tragedy and although I was not quite ready to poison myself or hurtle myself off the battlements just yet, I was holding on to that thought as it may very well change the more time I spend in the company of Ashley. Already she was getting deeper under my skin. I had hoped that after discovering she was a teacher that I might also discover she was a completely monstrous bitch; as that would ease the pain of knowing nothing could ever happen. But trust my bloody luck, from what I'd seen so far she was funny, caring, smart and compassionate. Bollocks.

'So Spencer.' Ashley led the conversation as we stepped off campus. 'If I'm outta place asking you, please tell me coz I'm pretty new to all this, but how come you got dumped with having to take EC music so late on in the semester?' Ashley asked quite casually.

'No I don't mind.' I replied, shrugging. 'Usual story I guess. Apparently my grades have been slipping a bit, and in order to bring them back up Principal Jackson held up this shiny musical hoop and said 'jump'. Witness me jumping.' I said dully.

'So… you're not really interested in music then?' Ashley frowned slightly and I could swear I heard disappointment in her voice as she asked.

'Oh, I love music.' I replied honestly. 'Well, listening to it anyway. I just never had the inclination to make any myself. I mean I reckon I've got about as much musical talent as a squeaky floorboard at midnight so I don't think I could do music its proper justice really. That and I'd probably get fed up and quit when I discover I can't play like Hendrix on the first go.' I turned to look at Ashley as we walked. 'Sorry, I guess I'm probably not the best student you could've asked.'

'Hey, don't worry about it. I like a challenge.' Ashley smiled in response before quickly flashing her eyes up and down the full length of me and continuing: 'And if I'm honest, you'll make a refreshing change from the rest of the stoner hippy and emo types I've been dumped with tutoring so far.' Her smile widened. 'But that's totally off the record ok.' She waved a finger in my direction before adopting a mock-serious, and for some inexplicable reason, perfect English accent: 'Officially, of course, I view all my students as being entirely equal and look forward to nurturing their musical talents to the best of my abilities; ensuring all of their educational needs are fulfilled.' She managed to maintain a straight face as she finished but I laughed hard out loud. Surprised once again at her casual manner and flushing slightly at her actions. Although I was quite accustomed to looking at Ashley, I was still not used to her looking back.

'Did you get that one out of the music teacher's handbook?' I asked, still chuckling.

Ashley grinned. 'Yup. Page 27. Section 2. "What to say to pissed off mothers on parent teacher night."' This time we both laughed aloud as we continued down the sidewalk. 'C'mon were nearly there. You are gonna die for these brownies.' She said as she increased her pace.

After a few more minutes we came to a small unassuming little deli, which despite my going to school only 3 blocks away for the last two years, I had never even noticed. We made our way inside and after asking what kind of coffee I'd like, Ashley told me to grab one of the small booths before heading off towards the counter to order. She was met by a small, rounded Greek looking man who smiled broadly at her as she approached.

'Hey, Ashley! It's early for you today no?' He greeted her loudly with his arms spread open. Ashley leaned over the counter and lightly grabbed both sides of his face before kissing him on either cheek. I used all my limitless powers of interpretation to deduce that she came in her a lot, either that or she had a thing for slightly balding middle aged Mediterraneans. As this was happening I couldn't help but notice, probably on account of my looking right at it, but as she was leaning over the counter, her shirt hitched slightly above her jeans to reveal a tantalizing glimpse of an intricate tattoo. A stunning black Celtic design which from the little I could see spanned her lower back and spine continuing down further into her jeans. I mentally scathed myself for momentarily pondering just how much farther down that toned muscular back the tattoo actually went. Ahhhh! 'Not now for Christ sakes' I muttered to myself inwardly, though I did bank the image of Ashley's back in my memory for later consideration..

After a few minutes Ashley returned to the booth and placed and enormous slab of fresh baked brownie, complete with chocolate chips still oozing on the surface, down on the table in front of me.

'Thanks for this. It looks awesome.' I said, nodding toward my plate. 'Are you sure I can't pay for mine?'

'Please, no. It was my crazy idea to drag you out here anyways so don't worry about it.' She said as she placed my flat white coffee down beside the plate. With the aid of a fork I took a bite of the still steaming chocolate slab before me and _damn_ was Ashley right. Those brownies were without doubt the best baked creation I had ever tasted. Light and spongy but also filthily rich. I dared not consider the calorific content of the cocoa laden beast; my _second _breakfast of the day.

'Mmmmm.......mmmm!' was all I could manage as I chewed the fresh baked slice of chocolaty perfection.

'Didn't I tell you they were good?' Ashley asked, grinning. Obviously pleased at my reaction to the gooey, rich, chocolaty slice of artery hardening heaven.

'Oh my god! You said they were good; you neglected to tell me that they're amazing. I'll never be able to eat Betty Crocker again!' I exclaimed before shoveling another chunk into my mouth. Ashley just laughed before starting on hers. As we sat and ate I figured now was as good a time as any to start probing Ashley for a bit of background information so I started off simple: 'So..... I guess you haven't been here at King long? I mean, I haven't really seen you around school much.' _Ahem!_ Ok, back to the old lying habits. But that one was just a small, insignificant fib; tiny really.

'No. Just a couple of months.' Ashley took another bite of her brownie, and after momentarily closing her eyes to savor the taste, washed it down with a slurp of scalding black coffee, without flinching. 'I'm in the process of finishing up my college teaching degree and I'm doing my compulsory placement here at King before I can graduate.'

'Wow ok, so you're not really a teacher?' I tried to keep the pitch of my voice level so that she wouldn't notice my sudden excitement. 'I guess that explains why you look way too young to be a teaching.'

'Erm…..thanks…I think?' And no. I'm not a teacher, yet. Although, the school has offered me a permanent job when I graduate in a couple of months; and given that I have no real choice but to take it, I guess King will be my new home for a while.'

'Hey well that's great isn't it?' I asked, my heart sinking knowing full well that it wasn't great, at least for me.

'I guess so.' Ashley sighed a little.

'So, umm...why is it that you don't sound like you actually want to teach here? I mean isn't teaching generally something teachers want to do?' I asked a little wryly.

'Well, to be honest I never really thought I would end up doing this.'

'What, teaching?'

'Yeah. Teaching music.' She sighed again and began toying with the fork on her plate. 'Don't get me wrong, music is my life and always has been but I never thought that I would have to teach it to make any money out of it. I guess I'm really just like every other air head in La La land, thinking that my guitar and my music can pay the bills.' She mused as she stared off into the distance.

'So you're more of a musician than a teacher then?'

'Oh god, totally!' She said animatedly 'Teaching's sooo just a way to pay the bills. I can't even stand it already. All the early mornings, the paperwork and the lesson plans. _And_ I've got..to…...' She trailed off as her gaze turned back towards me, biting her bottom lip as she remembered the company she was in. 'Got…to remember to shut up sometimes.' She rolled her eyes and banged her head lightly down on the table, narrowly avoiding the remainder of her breakfast. 'Oh god. See? I'm so bad at this already.' She muttered into the varnished surface.

'Hey. Don't worry about it. I won't tell anyone you hate the school as much as I do if you promise not to flunk me on account of my musical tone-deafness.'

'Ok done!' She exclaimed and brightened immediately as she flipped herself upright once again and got stuck into the last of her brownie.

I was totally dumbstruck by the way Ashley was acting. If anything she was behaving more like a new friend than a teacher, well, almost teacher, which was close enough for any real distinction in my book. And although I couldn't be sure if she acted like this around all her students, or if it was maybe just sympathetic behavior due to my classy introduction by way of fainting, it felt like to me that we had just clicked straight away. Ashley had a presence about her which made me feel completely at ease; which of course was totally unexpected given that she was actually the cause of all my nervousness and anxiety. I'm sure Freud probably has some interesting opinions on that sort of thing, but now is really not the time. Nevertheless, I was beginning to feel bolder with her.

'Can I ask you a question?' I dared.

'Sure.'

'I don't mean to be rude but…..how old are you exactly?'

'Why?' She raised a perfectly maintained eyebrow at me with a slight smile touching the sides of her mouth. 'Crap' I thought to myself 'a little too bold too soon maybe…...' Oh god. Kill me now.

'Well.' I tried to keep a level, confident voice. 'It's just that you really do look pretty young. Like not much older than me……And you did say that you're already finishing up college sooo…..I-I was just curious is all.' Did I get away with that? I'm guessing probably not. Ah well, I've started now. What harm can it do to continue? 'Well you're either not much older than me or you've mastered what scientists all over the world have strived and failed to do and reversed the aging process; the secrets of which you're taking to your elderly but still youthful looking grave. So which is it?' I asked jocularly and Ashley chuckled.

'Well thank you Spencer.' Ashley continued to smile; clearly not offended by the question. 'I'll take most if not all of that as a compliment. But I guess you're right. I am a little young for a teacher. I just turned 19 a couple of months back. I got an early start in life coz I was home schooled. My father was a musician and traveled a lot taking me with him on tours. I was so bored on the road I had to resort to studying to keep myself occupied and as a result I got my high school equivalent at sixteen. It wasn't all bad though. Dad hired tutors who taught me history, math and all the other boring stuff but at the same time he taught me to play the guitar and I haven't stopped since.' She stopped and smiled to herself thinking back at the memories. 'Anyway, when I turned seventeen I got sick of the whole touring scene, so I came back to L.A. on my own to try and make it as a musician. And the rest you can guess.' She said a little forlornly. I could sense in the way that she spoke that she was uncomfortable talking about her past, especially since she had referred to her dad as 'was a musician.' It didn't take a genius to figure out that she'd lost him somehow so I decided on a prompt change of subject.

'So…. do you wanna let me in on what I can expect from this music course, let me know what kind of hoop I'm jumping?'

Ashley looked at me quizzically for a moment before the penny dropped and she smacked her forehead lightly.

'Oh right. Yeah. I keep forgetting that's why we're here. Sorry I guess the coffee hasn't kicked in yet!' She grinned again, releasing those adorable knee tenderising nose crinkles.

We spent the next quarter hour going through the music course and arranging suitable times for the guitar lessons. Although, I was slightly disappointed to learn that a good portion of the program was geared to be done at home. There was, after all, no point in Ashley wasting her time listening to me murdering music as we know it without having any practice. I'd probably make her ears bleed. Ashley's role was simply to teach me the basics, to help with the theory and to assist with the small compositions I needed to write. Still. I couldn't be too hung up about that. As I was getting a late start to the course Ashley kindly agreed to give me three two hour sessions a week instead of the usual two even though she wouldn't strictly get paid for the extra ones. I have to admit to being touched by the gesture, but was unwilling to let myself believe there was any other motivation behind it than kindness. 'She's just a nice person.' I repeated to myself. 'Don't go looking for signs that aren't there.'

'So how about we get you started this afternoon?' Ashley asked she paid for breakfast on the way out and back to school. I momentarily paused. Remembering that I had already made plans with Aiden though it didn't take me long to come to a decision between the two. Screw Aiden. My justification for ditching one of my best friends being that my faltering education was far more important than burgers and pool and I'm sure he'll understand. Well that _was _true. Kind of.

'Sure. Why not.' I chirped in response. 'Should I bring anything with me?'

'Nope just yourself. I have everything you'll need.'

'I bet you do.' I whispered barely audibly under my breath, not expecting Ashley to hear.

'Pardon? Did you say something?'

Aaaaaaghhhhh. Such an idiot. Must think fast:

'Ummm sorry. I kinda burped. Was hoping you didn't catch that.' I cringed inwardly. A Burp? Surely I could do better than a bloody burp. Smooth Spencer. Once again, very very smooth. Ashley just smiled revealing those immaculate rows of teeth, but stayed quiet; not revealing whether or not she believed my inexcusably lame cover or if she actually heard what I'd said.

The rest of the walk back to school was filled with talk about favourite bands or artists. I already had her figured as a rock girl, and was right, but was surprised to discover that like me she liked older stuff from bands like The Stone Temple Pilots and the Pixies more than newer music. She also thought, like me, that most music nowadays had lost its soul. Well either lost it, or traded it to Beelzebub for some fake boobs or a sports car. Music nowadays was a business, not an artful expression. Mind you, I would have guessed that she would have had similar musical tastes to mine. It fitted perfectly with the whole Shakespearian tragic turn that my life had undertaken. Knowing that we had things in common just made trying to ignore my feelings for and squeezing them deep down into the recesses of my mind that little bit more impossible.

We arrived back on campus just in time to hear the bell for first period ring and I turned to meet her hypnotizing eyes once more before I had to head to class.

'Ok so I'll see you 'bout 4 O'clock then Spencer.' She said before momentarily placing her hand on my arm. 'And thanks for putting up with the pre-caffeinated morning version of me. I am usually normal, just not quite so early in the day.'

'No worries Ashley.' Wow it still felt strange to call her by her name. 'And it's me should be thanking you for breakfast and introducing me to those fantastic brownies. Although, my hips probably won't be thanking you after a few more.' I joked. 'Anyway, Thanks again.'

'Hey, no problem.' She smiled a little coyly at me before lowering her rumbling voice a tone and continued: 'It was totally all my pleasure Spencer.' And with that she winked at me, gave my arm a quick squeeze and turned away towards the music department.

It took a few seconds for my mind to register but...........'Whoah! Back up there. Did that really just happen? Was that…..? Did she…..? Was she just flirting with me?!?!?'

* * *

**Once again, apologies for the huge delay in me posting. I know I suck! And to be honest I'm not very happy with this chapter so please review and let me know what you think. Apologies if you hated it!  
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